


Backwards Immunity

by Shadokin



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, F/F, The Last Of Us: Left Behind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 04:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1331728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadokin/pseuds/Shadokin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don’t go, Ellie had said. Then she left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Shouldn't Be

She was drenched in sweat, head rolling to the side and eyes unfocused. Hands cupped her cheeks, and she fought through the fog blurring her vision.

“Riley?”

“I’m here.” Riley said before taking a look to Ellie’s forearm—her wound already spreading past her elbow and turning her skin shades of beige and purple. The infection was moving through her quickly, quicker than it was going through Riley. She was watching her friend suffer through the change with no way to slow it down.

“This sucks.”

The brief sound of laughter that passed Riley’s lips was both genuine and forced. This was too cruel to witness, but Ellie was smiling at her through the pain.

“It sure does.”

They had debated on leaving the mall. On seeing how far they could go before they couldn’t anymore. But the irony was that the mall was the safest place for them now. Outside the soldiers wouldn’t hesitate to put them down once they caught sight of the bites, and the Fireflies wouldn’t be any more merciful.

It was quiet for a while, and then it was even enjoyable. There was nothing to be done except relish their final moments of sanity together. They wandered about the building, exploring corners they never bothered to before, laughing together, finding some comfort in each other to lose themselves to.

But then Ellie all but collapsed, her body becoming nothing more than a heap of bones and flesh as she fell into a wall and slumped to the ground.

“Not yet.” Riley pleaded, all too aware of the glassy look over Ellie’s eyes. “Stay with me, Ellie.”

She tapped Ellie’s cheek with her palm, watching the struggle as Ellie fought to come back to her.

“You still here?”

Ellie’s eyelids, already dropping low, narrowed confusingly her way.

“Riley? What the hell?” Ellie said, anger lacing her tone, but before Riley could ask she leaned forward, away from the wall, and her hand jumped to catch her head.

“Shit! That hurts.”

Ellie still sounded like herself at least. With an exhale, Riley dropped back on her rear, feet flat on the floor and arms resting along her legs.

“I thought I lost you there.” She said, voice cracking in betrayal, and she gulped down the rest of her nerves. Ellie still looked shaken, but she kept her eyes on Riley, mouth parted open.

“Right.” She said, breathing out and turning away, obviously avoiding looking to her infected arm. Riley lowered her head and brought her own hand closer to her chest, studying the bite at the base of her thumb. It was still just as fresh as when it had been bitten. The skin would certainly be scared, but there was no sign of the infection spreading, not as evident as Ellie’s wound.

“You hear that?”

Riley’s head snapped up and she listened. Something was moving close by, and just a few moments later clicking filled the air, and her heart jumped into her throat.

“Ellie, we have to go.”

Getting up quietly, Riley reached out and grabbed Ellie by the wrist, hoisting her to her feet. When she saw how unsteady Ellie still was, wobbling and looking paler than usual, she hesitated. Ellie might not be able to outrun a clicker, if she could run at all.

Ellie took a step, and then her hand was on Riley’s shoulder, pushing her forward.

“C’mon, move.”

Riley didn’t bother fighting her. There wasn’t enough time left for that. She moved first; repeatedly checking over her shoulder to make sure Ellie was still there. But there was no way to disguise the noise of their movement, and the clicker screeched, the sound like knives grinding at their bones. Riley saw Ellie stop at the sound, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head.

“Ellie,” Riley tried to whisper as loudly as possible, but she was ignored. “Ellie!”

She went back, taking Ellie by the arm and pulling her along. The clicker was moving their way, its feet shuffling across the floor in a hasty run, and Riley looked around for a quick escape. All the shops around them were shut by metal gates, held down by locks and chains. They could break a window, but that could draw more infected their way.

“Shit,” Riley muttered. “Gimme something, c’mon!”

“Where do we go?” Ellie asked, and Riley paused to look at her. She was breathing hard, her shoulders drawn down as if holding a great weight. The clicker was almost on them, and Riley cursed again before running the other way, dragging Ellie with her.

There was nowhere to go but forward, and Ellie’s feet were moving haphazardly as they went. Riley knew she could go faster, that she could outrun one lousy clicker, but she _couldn’t_ leave Ellie behind.

“Just a little farther,” Riley said, not bothering to lower her voice. “Just a little more, Ellie, and then—”

Ellie’s arm slipped from her grip, and Ellie dropped to her knees, palms catching on the floor. Riley slid to a halt and turned around, the clicker only a few feet away. There wasn’t any time left. It was going to get Ellie.

The clicker kept running, past Ellie and straight for Riley. She stumbled back and reached for her gun. Its mouth opened, teeth coming at her, and it was too fast for her to aim. Riley swung her arm, the butt of her pistol slamming into the fungal plate growing out of its head. The clicker staggered, and Riley brought her gun down again, then used her hand to shove the head lower, bringing her knee up and bashing its face. She felt a wet crunch, and with both hands she shoved the body away, knowing it wasn’t enough to be _dead_ dead, and dove for Ellie.

“Can you move?” She asked, holstering her gun and hooking her hands under Ellie’s armpit, dragging her back to her feet.

“I can’t, I can’t feel my arm.” Ellie said, leaning forward and chin pressing into Riley’s shoulder. “Riley…”

“We can worry about that later.” Riley said, trying to ignore the feeling of Ellie’s burning skin on her own.  “C’mon.”

The clicker continued to make its incessant clicks and gurgle sounds from the ground, and too quickly it was picking itself back up. Riley’s nostrils flared as she tried to control her breathing, and she helped Ellie hobble a few more steps, but it _wasn’t enough_.

“Okay. Okay.” Riley said, blinking rapidly, and with a pause she heaved Ellie ahead of her, pushing her friend over to the nearing wall, where Ellie instantly fell into, body freezing up with hands grasping for purchase.

“Riley!”

“I got this.” Riley said, moving to her friend, placing a hand between her shoulder blades in comfort while reaching into the back pocket of her pants with the other. She pulled Ellie’s switchblade out, and popped the blade from its sheath.

“Stay back, Ellie.”

Leaving her at the wall, Riley pulled her gun back out, holding a weapon in each hand. The clicker wasn’t running anymore, moving towards them in a dragging jog. Riley held up her gun, keeping her finger close to the trigger. The worst thing she could do right now was alert the rest of the infected in the building where they were, but if it came down to it, she would do what she had to.

Arms failing about, the clicker closed in. Riley sucked in a breath before lashing out with Ellie’s switchblade. It scrapped a fungal plate, and the clicker’s head snapped her way. She pulled back, but the arms were on her, hands tight and fingers curling in a vice grip.

“No!”

Riley tugged her arms, feeling the clicker hone in on her neck, attempting to dive its teeth into her. She could feel the grip of the clicker loosening, and she found her moment. One of its hands let go of her, and she swiped with the blade again, cutting into flesh.

The clicker screeched a sound that made Riley remember it had once been human. She pushed the thought away and drove the blade into its chest, focusing only on killing this thing that threatened her and Ellie.

She stabbed it a second time in the chest, kicking one of its legs and dropping the clicker to the ground. It screeched again, but the sound wasn’t as loud, and Riley gritted her teeth as she crouched to the floor and brought the blade down on its head. The body convulsed, and then stilled, and for a moment, everything was okay.

“Geez, Riley.”

The infected were people once, and that meant they still bled. Riley stared at the red on her hands, yanking the knife from the corpse and standing up from the body. She glanced around to make sure there were no more infected nearby, and picked up her gun from the ground that she must have dropped during the fight.

“What was that thing?” Ellie asked, still in the same position Riley had put her in. Riley put her gun away and wiped the blade on her shirt.

“That was a stage three infected. They’re called clickers. I’ve never actually seen one before. Not up close.” Riley said, swallowing thickly. “It’s weird that one was in the zone.”

“Yeah,” Ellie said, “Riley?”

Folding the blade, Riley looked over to her.

“What’s up?”

Ellie sniffed, staring at the wall holding her up and Riley couldn’t tell if she was crying.

“I need you to move me.”

Riley slipped the switchblade into her pants pocket, quickly going to Ellie’s side. Her body was stiff, limbs locked where she stood. Riley placed a hand at Ellie’s shoulder, her own heart pounding loudly in her chest.

“Are you in pain?” She had to ask. Ellie’s head twitched, and she let out a deep breath.

“Riley…”

“Okay,” Riley said, and moved her arms around Ellie’s torso. “I got you.” She took on Ellie’s weight, pulling her from the wall. Ellie whimpered, her body choosing that moment to slacken and she fell farther into Riley’s hold.

“I got you.” Riley repeated, fixing her grip around Ellie and carefully lowering her to the floor. The switchblade in her pocket pressed awkwardly against her hip, but Riley remained where she was, staring down at the Ellie.

“Ellie?” She whispered, smoothing her palm down Ellie’s sweaty cheek, watching every blink and twitch in her face.

“I’m still here.” Ellie said after some reluctance, the corner of her mouth rising up in a brief smile. But then it was a frown, and pain pulled at her features.

“Riley—”

“Yeah?”

“My arm,” She said. “How’s it look?”

Riley didn’t want to look. Her eyes fluttered shut before she gathered enough courage to check.

“It’s pretty bad.”

Ellie didn’t bother to turn her head, but she chuckled, “You should see the other guy.”

Riley laughed with her, the image of Ellie fighting against the runner flashing in her mind. She shook her head, and ran her hand down Ellie’s arm, that part of her body notably cooler than the rest of her.

“We need to get out from the open,” She told Ellie then. “It’s too dangerous to stay here.”

Ellie shivered in her arms, but nodded in agreement, and Riley tried to think of where to go.

“Do you think you can walk?”

“Give me a minute?” Ellie asked, and Riley pressed her lips together. She kept a firm grip around Ellie, focusing on how heavy she was breathing. Despite it all, the pain in Ellie was assuring. It meant that she was still alive in this moment, that as inevitable as the infection was, it hadn’t taken her yet.

Riley lowered her head, touching her lips to Ellie’s cheek. She couldn’t feel Ellie react, but as she pulled back Ellie’s left arm came up, thumb against her jaw and fingers catching the back of her neck.

“Wait.” She said, and encouraged Riley back down. Closing her eyes, Riley met Ellie’s lips, and she didn’t care that they both tasted of sweat and dirt, but worry gnawed at her insides from the abnormal heat Ellie was giving out.

Riley leaned farther down, reaching out her arm and pressing her hand onto the floor on the opposite side of Ellie. She was shaking, she knew, but Ellie was slipping from her, and she didn’t want her to go alone.

Ellie’s hand fell from Riley’s neck to her shoulder, fingers squeezing into her skin. Riley tried to concentrate on the feeling, wanting to lose herself to the moment, but she remained torn, listening for changes in the air, trying to keep alert for anything suspicious heading for them.

Pulling back from the kiss, Riley rested her forehead against Ellie’s.

“All right,” She breathed out, “We need to get moving.”

There was another squeeze at her shoulder before Ellie let go, and Riley kept a watchful eye out as she helped Ellie to her feet. It wasn’t as hard as she expected it, Ellie didn’t seem as in pain as she had been a few minutes earlier. Her breathing was still shaky, but there was more color in her face. If Riley could ignore the redness in Ellie’s eyes and the discoloration of her arm, she would think Ellie was getting better.

“Here, put your arm around me.” Riley said, seeing that she was still unbalanced holding herself up. Ellie turned her head and stared at the clicker’s corpse, ignoring Riley as a far off look encompassed her face.

“Ellie.” Riley called gently, and Ellie looked back to see Riley holding out her switchblade for her. She reached and took it back with a low thanks, fingers tracing over the handle. Riley watched her bite into her lower lip.

She was sick. They both were, but Ellie more so. Her body was aflame in fever, and she was practically dragging herself along. If Riley was older, stronger, she’d scoop Ellie up and carry her away. Instead Ellie stood there, unmoving, and they couldn’t afford staying out in the open any longer, and Riley sighed.

“Here,” She said, moving forward to take Ellie’s arm around her shoulders, but suddenly the blade in Ellie’s hand popped out, and she was holding the switchblade with a hesitant grip, tip pointed at Riley.

“Woah.” Hands up in the air, Riley stumbled back. “What are you doing?”

“…You’re going to kill me.” Ellie whispered, a pathetic sound of disbelief coating her voice. Her body started to lean, tilting off to the side, but she took a wobbling step and straightened back up. Riley waited with a thumping heart, counting the beats of silence as they stared each other down.

“No. No, Ellie, I’m just trying to help.” Riley said, wondering as Ellie cringed at her words if she could even process what was happening. This was the infection at work, where it eventually drained one’s mind, making them forgetful and aggressive.

There weren’t words to describe the pain of it.

“I gave your knife back,” Riley said, pointing to the blade in Ellie’s hand. “Why would I do that if I wanted to kill you?”

Ellie eyes glanced down at the blade, a curious linger before bearing her teeth and stretching the point of the it further out threateningly.

“You have a gun.” She said, and Riley could already see the different ways this could play out.  They all seemed to end with her gun going off, and one of them lying of the ground in blood.

“Do you want my gun?” Riley asked, slowly moving her hand behind her back. She paused when Ellie jerked at her, like she was ready to spring, but she remained where she stood. Head bobbing, Ellie looked to be fighting through a haze, struggling to keep her eyes forward.

“G-Geeve…” Ellie slurred, mouth fumbling. She clenched her jaw and cleared her throat. “Hand it over.”

“Okay,” Riley said, nodding her head and stepping closer. “I’m reaching for my gun.” Her palm settled on the metal, but she made no move to unholster it.

“I’m taking it out.”

Hand stilled on the grip, Riley took another step into Ellie’s space, her other hand still up in the air for Ellie to focus on. The blade was right there, less than a foot from her and several inches from her exposed palm. Ellie’s hand was holding the handle like a lifeline, but she was exhausted and covered in grim, leaving her grip loose and easy to steal from.

Riley didn’t hesitate, pulling her hand from her gun, and Ellie followed the empty hand through the air. With her left, Riley grabbed Ellie’s wrist, turning it and opening her fingers from the handle with little effort, the switchblade dropping to the ground. She nudged it away with her shoe, and Ellie tried to move away, but Riley was faster, wrapping her arms around Ellie and pressing her body into Ellie’s back.

“It’s me, Ellie, it’s me!” Riley said to her ear. “You need to calm down.”

Already weakened, Ellie stopped resisting and bowed her head. Blinking away fresh tears, Riley felt a sick relief flooding through her gut, and she went on murmuring soothing words to friend, holding her still.

However long they remained there, Riley didn’t know. Time didn’t exist for them anymore, but it was still running out all the same. Ellie was breathing heavy again, and Riley lifted a hand to brush back the strands of hair sticking to Ellie’s sweaty forehead.

Ellie began to tremble in her arms, and then she was sniffling, tears streaking down without pause. Riley felt her own need to cry surface, to break something and yell about the unfairness of it all. Instead, she squeezed Ellie a bit tighter, clinging to the one reason she had left to keep it together.

“Let’s keep going, all right?” She said to Ellie, earning an affirming nod. She released Ellie, only stepping away when it was clear that she could stand without aid, and Ellie wiped at her face and neck to get rid of the tears. Riley fetched the switchblade from the floor, and clutched it in the palm of her hand. She would hold onto it for the moment.

Taking Ellie by the hand, Riley led them through the mall, heading through the first store that had an opening. The door was locked, but the large display window had been shattered. After checking the inside for infected, she helped Ellie step over the broken glass inside.

“We’ll be safe here.” Riley said. It wasn’t true, but saying it aloud gave her some confidence. At least it didn’t sound like there were any more infected nearby, and that was a comfort by itself.

It was some kind of bookstore they were standing in, with most of the selves strangely filled and a few knocked over, books spilled along the floor like torn entrails. All it did was remind Riley of their backpacks still in that store where the infected found them, the book Riley had gone out of her way to get now worthlessly beyond their reach.

Ellie had taken a spot near the back corner of the store, curled into a ball and face flushed a raw red, she stared at the ground, biting her lip, and caressing the bite mark on her arm. Riley went to her, approaching slowly and taking her place at Ellie’s side.

“…It’s happening,” Ellie said, leaning in when Riley wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“I know,” Riley said, trying to keep the struggle from her voice. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Ellie tilted her head towards Riley, unable to look her in the eye. “If I go first,” She paused, breathing in slowly, “Will you kill me?”

Riley squeezed her shoulders, and instead ducked her head forward and kissed Ellie. Lips quivering against hers, Ellie didn’t seem to know how to respond. She reached up and curled her fingers into Riley’s jacket, anchoring herself and pressing back, hesitant and needy all at once. Riley could feel the swirling of happiness and fear tumbling about in her stomach, and inhaled sharply when Ellie opened her mouth to her.

“You can’t… give up yet.” She managed to get out somewhere between kisses, and they were both so terribly awkward at this, Ellie was forgetting to breathe as she went, and Riley had to break apart when she tried to put her tongue in Ellie’s mouth, only for it to tickle them both, and Ellie ending up biting Riley hard on the lip.

“Sorry.” Ellie said quickly, smiling up to Riley. She reached up and brushed her thumb over Riley’s bottom lip, a strange new familiarity with the action.   

“It’s fine,” Riley said, her eyes dropping down. “How’s your arm?”

Ellie’s smile lessened, but it didn’t fade completely. “It doesn’t hurt.”

“Can you feel it at all?” Riley visibly swallowed as she asked, and Ellie’s silence was enough of an answer. Without further prompting, she removed her jacket, leaving her in her white tank top, and laid it across her lap.

Ellie observed as Riley ripped a strip of the jacket away, taking out Ellie’s switchblade when it didn’t come apart quickly enough.

“Here.” Riley said, getting to her knees and nudging Ellie to turn fully her way. Her hand grabbed Ellie by her forearm, and her eyes travelled up until she met Ellie’s, lingering there for an extra second. She took the line of cloth and tied it around Ellie’s shoulder, double knotting it and making sure it would stay there.

“Riley…”

“No,” Riley stopped her. “If we can just… you can…”

Ellie’s gaze went soft, and Riley wished it looked more filled with hope than it did of sadness and pity.

“I can do this,” She said with certainty. “I can save you.”

Riley held up Ellie’s switchblade. Jaw clenched, she looked between it and Ellie.

“You can bite on my jacket.” She said, and held up the clothing to Ellie, but she shook her head and put her hand over Riley’s, pushing it away.

“Please,” Ellie said in dismissal, “If anyone’s got a chance of surviving this right now, it’s you.”

Riley scoffed, but doubt seeped into her features, trepidation over the thought. Everyone turned eventually, but the symptoms always showed up sooner rather than later.

“Yeah, like I could go on without you.” Riley thought, and a second later realized she had said it aloud. In different circumstances she might have been embarrassed, but Riley stared back at Ellie, letting her see the honesty of the statement.

“I won’t, not if you don’t want me to,” Riley said after a moment’s pause, saving Ellie from responding to her slip. “But maybe it could work, maybe it hasn’t spread any farther. I can—”

But Ellie was shaking her head, and Riley stopped and said nothing more. She looked away, listening instead to the outside, making sure they were still safe. Folding the blade back into the handle, she fiddled with it for a few moments.

The sound of coughing interrupted her concentration, and she turned to see Ellie’s whole body shaking, hiding her mouth behind her elbow as she fought against each rattle in her lungs. Tensing up, Riley leaned forward, freezing when Ellie held up a hand to stop her. Unsure of what else to do, Riley waited for the fit to subside.

When blood sprayed from Ellie’s mouth, Riley reached and grabbed her hand, and Ellie grabbed back, and Riley shifted so that she was right beside her.

“I’m here,” She said, and Ellie’s leaned into her, breathing against her neck. “I’m not letting you go.”

Ellie made a noise of agreement, and Riley closed her eyes. Taking in a breath, she gave Ellie’s hand another squeeze, smiling briefly when felt her hand squeezed again in return.

“Please,” She whispered, “Don’t let me go.”


	2. What Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Ellie gone, Riley wandered.

The bite had clotted over, a distinct fungal coloring scabbing over the raw flesh, iron pulsing underneath with the fading pain. Riley leaned the tip of the switchblade at the edge of the wound, holding it just so the blade’s tip brushed the base of her thumb. With her lips pressed shut she pushed down, splitting the skin back open.

Before the first drop of blood dripped out, Riley pulled the blade away and clamped her mouth over the bite, the taste dissolving into a disgusting mix of fungus and iron. She sucked the liquid down her throat until her tongue hurt and her hand throbbed in agony, and then she ripped it away, slumping back against the wall behind her.

Her stomach was tossing like the surf that was bound to be hundreds of miles across the country. Los Angeles had always been a pipe dream, but it never felt so hopeless of a destination until now. That wasn’t the worst of it though.

Blood continued to trail down her hand, a slow descent of red warmth following the lines on her palm and the curves of her wrist, mocking her with its lack of fever, her mind still vivid with the memory of… of everything.

“Don’t do this to me,” Riley begged the empty air above her. “Please don’t do this to me.”

The world around her faded to static, and she reached for the backpack beside her, dragging it on her lap, ignoring the blood running down her skin. With her clean hand—cleaner, not clean, she had used both hands to hold Ellie and no, that name is… she’s _gone_ —Riley fished through the inside of the bag, and pulled out the Walkman.

She slipped the buds into her ears, hitting the power button once, twice, because she didn’t hit it hard enough and she was trembling still, and the music began and started swimming through her ears

It should have been the perfect ambiance to send her off, and she tried to relax and give into the sound. Riley was numb, but her chest ached to open up and sob with the whelm of feeling stirring within her.

Riley took a breath, lifting her hand back to her mouth, “I’m right behind you, Ellie.”

Too much time had passed since she was bitten. Cordyceps Brain Infection took a maximum of two days to completely destroy the body’s original host, yet here she still was.

It was a fluke, Riley was sure. She had witnessed others, so many others. An incredible agony they suffered through, some begged; to put them out of their misery, to let them live, until they weren’t themselves anymore.

So she drank. And the more blood Riley took in, the worse her stomach twinged, and her throat shivered with nausea. She kept at it until her hand began to tingle at the loss of feeling. She took one last empty swallow and let her arm drop.

Riley hugged her backpack to her chest, cramming her face against the material and taking in the lingering smell of her best friend. She didn’t cry. She thought of Ellie, who certainly wouldn’t mind her crying, but thinking that made it worse and she shut her eyes until the tears burned back into her eyeballs.

It had to just be a little longer. The music was still buzzing in her ears. Riley couldn’t help the thought that this wasn’t such a bad way to go, lost in the static as she tried to feel herself slipping away, but then hunger began to gnaw from her belly, and she woke back to the world beyond her bubble.

A dissatisfied grunt erupted from her, and Riley squirmed where she sat, the idea of relaxing now too foreign for her body to grasp. It was no use. She had enough strength to move still, and that was enough of a thought to get her on her feet.

White noise crackled from the Walkman, and Riley reached for up to the left bud in her ear, but there was no shift meaning the crackling wasn’t from the headphones, but the Walkman itself. It must have gotten busted with the infected running all over the place.

The idea of turning it off doesn’t sit well with her, thinking it might be standing on its last legs, but she pushed the thought away. She kept a firm hold of the Walkman as she travelled through the mall. If nothing else, walking around meant the infection in her blood would travel faster through the rest of her body. Everything would be over then. No more static.

The surrounding air felt more polluted than ever, stinking of foul water and dust that might as well have been spores. But the infected weren’t nearby as far as Riley could tell. She kept close to the walls, afraid of losing her balance. When she came to the escalator leading down to the first floor, she stopped, palm hovering over the rotating hand rail, feeling the material brush her skin, the friction grabbing for her, trying to drag her down before she was ready.

Riley took a deep breath, staring down at the bottom of the cycling stairs and focusing on nothing else but making it down there. She raised her leg slowly, letting her sole rest down on one of the passing steps and pressing her hand onto the railing at the same time, the same lurch in her stomach as before when the escalator carried her, made only worse by the hunger still sitting inside her stomach.

She was lucky—that’s what she tried to believe anyway—seeing as she had no trouble making her way out of the mall. Whatever infected were still in there didn’t cross her path, and for better or worse, Riley was back in the streets of the Boston Quarantine Zone.

Her worry transferred over to soldiers. She was bitten, but she was still alive, and if she was seen… The front of her shirt was stained in red, and dried rivulets of blood were caked into the skin of her arm. The soldiers wouldn’t even bother looking for a bite if they spotted her like this.

Riley quietly moved to a dark alley, slumping her pack over her shoulder to the ground. She yanked the ear buds out, resting the Walkman on the ground, music still playing, and she shrugged off her jacket, her tank top following seconds later. Getting the old grimy clothes off her sweaty body was a relief she tried to find joy in, but it was short lived. Her motions were mechanic, focused only on the task at hand.

She pulled out a rolled up shirt, opening it up, refusing to stare at the design at the center. The red fabric felt cool over her skin, if not a bit itchy from doing nothing but collect dust for the past two decades.

Next, she took out the switchblade and cut off another strip from her jacket, wrapping it around her left palm, doing her best to conceal where she had been bitten. It probably drew more attention to her hand than before, but it was something. If she was spotted by a civilian at least, perhaps it would make them hesitate long enough for her to get away. At any rate, Riley didn’t want to be reminded of what happened every time she looked down at herself

She rolled her old clothes and placed them in Ellie’s—her—backpack, then moved to zip it shut. She hesitated, glancing down to the Walkman lying on the ground. She reached over and turned the power off, carefully putting it back into the pack as well.

Riley threw the backpack over her shoulders, standing up, and checked around the corner to make sure it was clear. All she needed to do now was lay low and not do anything to draw suspicion her way.

Moving through the city was slow. The paths Riley normally used were too conspicuous to chance during the day. With the sun beating at her back, she carefully made her way to a building and found an unlocked window, pushing it open and reaching through the frame, grabbing the inside wall and pulling herself through in a swift jump, feet hitting the floor and bringing dust into the air. She inhaled and barely managed a cough, exhaustion making it easy to ignore the struggle to breathe.

She was only halfway across the room when she noticed something odd about the walls. Her vision blurred, the room distorting and spinning around her. Riley nearly buckled over from the rush of vertigo. She tried to reach a wall but her knees went down. She didn’t feel any pain. The sound of a voice echoed in her ear: _please, please_ , _Riley, I need you to—_ Riley shut her eyes, trying to block out the memory, please— _I don’t want to tear you apart._

There wasn’t enough time for Riley to cry before she blacked out.

x

Oddly enough, she didn’t remember waking up. Her body felt drained, and she knew right away that she’d been out for more than just a few minutes. But how long she had been awake, she didn’t know. It was as if she had just been placed into a moment of consciousness without her consent. It should’ve been more disorientating than it was, but she grabbed her bearings quickly.

In her hands was a bowl of rat soup. It didn’t burn to hold, but there was steam rising from the top. Riley realized she was sitting in a wooden chair, the kind that made one conform in an uncomfortable posture, but she was just glad to be off her feet and not on the ground.

“Eat up.” Marlene said, and Riley noted that she wasn’t surprised to see her. Marlene had gotten her the soup, right? She had her sit down at least. Marlene was sitting in an identical chair across from her, probably a few feet of space between them. Riley found she couldn’t focus on her face right away.

“I need you to tell me what happened.”

Food for information then. Riley tried to think. She was trying to figure why she hadn’t been shot on sight. But knowing Marlene, she probably knew already. Killing Riley was unnecessary then.

“How long…?” She let the question hang. Finally she looked at the woman’s face, but Marlene’s expression told her little. Riley wondered which version she was talking to. Was this Marlene the same one who showed her fondness, willing to share stories about Ellie’s mother with her, or was this the Queen of the Fireflies, interested in nothing but tests and order?

“Eat.” Marlene said, so she did. The broth was heavy and the meat had been freshly cooked. Riley’s hunger took over, forgetting everything else as she consumed her meal. The whole time Marlene was quiet. She went between watching Riley to staring at the far wall.

When Riley finally paused, her body feeling better already, that was when Marlene started talking.

“We think it’s only been a few hours.” She began. Riley had a little broth still at the bottom of her bowl. She brought another spoonful to her mouth.

“Qasim and Melanie found you and brought you here,” Marlene went on.” They hadn’t thought to check you beforehand. I don’t know if I blame them. You weren’t running a fever.”

Riley didn’t know how she hadn’t noticed. The makeshift bandage around her hand was gone. She unfolded her fingers, staring at the wound. It didn’t look entirely like a bite mark anymore. Where she had split the skin was starting to heal over, distorting a few of the teeth marks. It wasn’t enough to fool someone upon close inspection, but if they hadn’t thought to look at it properly, they could mistake the bite as some other kind of injury.

“I’m immune.” Riley said. The bite was still raw and pale and it _hurt_ but that was important. She couldn’t forget the ache that came with it. The price that came with finding out something this important. 

Marlene’s face looked pained. She eased back in her seat, studying Riley… to see if she was lying?

“And Ellie?”

“…” Oh. Riley traced her index finger along the empty bowl halfheartedly.

“She wasn’t.”

Her words were a curse. Marlene closed her eyes, defeat sinking into her features.

Riley bit her lip.

“How did you find me—

“I can’t…” Marlene choked out, and Riley’s heart plummeted. If only things were backwards, if Ellie was here instead of her. Ellie’s laughter rang in her memory, and she swallowed to keep the tears from breaking free.

She felt terrible and foolish. This was all her fault.

Marlene leaned forward. She was shaken, but she took the bowl out of Riley’s hand, then placed her hand over Riley’s knee.

“I can’t believe I didn’t lose you too.”

Riley looked to her, waiting for the sure to follow anger, the disappointment, but there was none. It was almost unable to register. Her mouth opened, and before she knew it tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” She said. It was Ellie all over again, apology after apology tumbling from her mouth while she did what she had to do.

She was given more food, and Marlene was asking her questions. About leaving, about going to Ellie—how could you, what were you thinking—that should have come from Marlene at least once. She wasn’t asked to stop crying. It made Riley question if any of this was real. Marlene should be yelling, should be damning her for what she did. She should—

Marlene was hugging her now, and the questions fell away. This couldn’t be happening. This wouldn’t be happening. Riley desperately wanted—wished—for this to be a horrible dream. First her parents, and now Ellie. She didn’t want to do it again.

“Please,” Riley said, “Please, I’m sorry.”

She couldn’t stop breathing, the air shaking its way through her lungs, begging, useless, and Marlene held her tight.

“It’s okay, I know, I know.” Marlene soothed, her voice at Riley’s ear, hands at her back. “But you’ll get through this. I’ll make sure you get through this.”

Riley could only believe her. The need to hold onto something, after everything, convinced her that Marlene meant what she said. So she grabbed Marlene by her selves, the friction of the fabric roughly rubbing against the bite, and clutched with all that she was.

From beyond Riley’s sight, Marlene opened her eyes and looked ahead in indifference.

 


End file.
